Is it just me?

Or does the "alleged furniture" in this picture look like something from a Witness Relocation Program?

Is the chair ashamed? Shy? Has it been captured by insurgents and will only be released if the captor's demands have been met?

http://oklahomacity.craigslist.org/fuo/2037791570.html
It's not his fault, though, the guy has a phone that doesn't take "well pictures". (his pictures are sick, see, THAT'S the problem!

The Cheap Plastic Pony of Knitting

As we now sneak up on my first anniversary of my acquisition of Knitting Knowledge I have realized something.

I don't really know much about knitting after all.

I told Laura the other day that I think of her every time I cast on and knit in the round with double pointed needles (DPN's) since she was the one who taught me the whole Circular Knitting Lore.

She sniffed and said,"Heh. Using DPN's (double pointed needles for all of you knit neophytes) is so last century. I use Magic Loop now. It's so much easier!" I know what's gonna happen, though. I'll finally learn to use this mysterious contraption they call "Magic Loop" then the Knitting Socialites I hang with will have moved on to something even MORE cool and amazing. It will be all, "Oh, we knit with Space Needles now. All we have to do is just THINK about what we want to knit and there it is!"

You see, as usual, I'm friends with people who are WA-A-A-A-AY cooler than I am. Laura is riding the Knitting Stallion while I sit perched atop one of those cheap plastic ponies on huge springs. Ya know, the kind that make you so giddy that you keep bouncing like an idiot and then you pitch forward and chip a tooth? Yeah, that one. (I'd like to point out that I have only had ONE knitting injury thus far, thankyouverymuch!)

She is knitting beaded scarves, the sort of thing that is so lovely and exquisite and doesn't look warm at all. (the kind of fine knitwear I'd spill hot chocolate on, to be honest!) I knit the sort of scarves that induce exclamations of, "Oh, it must be homemade......uhm,....it looks very warm!"

I look at her knitting.....then look down at the yarn mess in my own lap and steal myself for the inevitable inner monologue. "It's okay, Cyndi....what you're making looks nice, too. Someone will love it, even if it doesn't have any beads."

Curtains, Coffee and Midnight Murderous Rampages

So, today is Day Two of the Drop Cloth Curtain Project. I have just been made privy to The Secret That is Drop Cloth Curtains which means that the fad is probably about to go the way of pet rocks and zoot suits, but, alas, I'm doing it anyway.

Yesterday I bought the drop cloths then went home and fell asleep. Today I plan to make coffe (lots of it) and use the coffee to dye the cloths. (On second thought, I drink way more Diet Dr. Pepper than coffee. I wonder if soda dyes fabric just the same as coffee?) I may do some sort of border on them,but, knowing me, they will be trimmed with paperclips and dog hair.

Don’t get your hopes up.


Of course, none of this will happen if Kirk and I end up in jail. You see, we have been on a Murderous Rampage of sorts lately.

A killing spree.

It started with a possum who just refused to get out of my way as I drove home from work in the dark.

Swerve.

Thud.

Then Kirk arrived home to tell me that he killed a squirrel on my behalf by plowing it down with his car. He told me that he was defending the honour of my garden.

Uhm....thanks?

So, I apologize for the inadvertant killing spree. We didn't mean it. Well, I didn't mean it. Kirk? Oh, he has Wildlife Murder in his soul for sure, bless his heart.

Coffee: Now

Today I remembered that I learned how to do embroidery about well,...let's just say MANY years ago. I decided to make this tea towel as practice before I move on to stitching for others:

Her name is Lola....

Now, before you read the next part please quietly hum Barry Manilow's Copacabana song:

"Her name is Lola, she is a dauchsund.
With soft flowing hair of red and a cool pink doggie bed..."



My heart is completely overwhelmed with love and awe and that freshly-fallen-in-love-smitten feeling. You see, this weekend our family adopted Lola, the World’s Sweetest Weiner Dog Ever To Exist In Known History.
We watch her sleep.
We take pictures of her sleeping.
We hold her while she sleeps so she will know that she is loved.
We touch her little paws and whisper sweetly into her ear.
We pet her so much that I’m amazed we haven’t worn tracks into her fur.

She has us completely and I mean COMPETELY AND TOTALLY wrapped around her paw.

And we wouldn’t have it any other way!

Puh-Harmacy Phun

I picked up a prescription for MYSELF recently. (in a minute you will understand why I had to yell “MYSELF”.)

On the bottle was a label that read, and I quote,

Give “Cyndi” one tablet each day

Now, this was different for two reasons. For one thing I have never been referred to in the third person on my very own prescription label and, for another thing, my name has never appeared on it in quotes like that. Only two possibilities exist here:

1) I am a persnickety feline who requires human involvement to take a pill, most likely by hiding it in a chunk of tuna or…

2) I am not real.

Last time I checked I was a 30-mumble year old woman who picks up her own prescriptions. I wonder if my long-suffering husband is supposed to rescue me from my perch atop the dining room drapery rod, gently stroke my back and shove the tuna covered pill down my gullet while singing Soft Kitty to me?

In other news Jake can’t believe that the PH combo in words sounds like the letter F so every word he sees with the mysterious PH combo is pronounced separately. Phillips is Puh-Hillups and Physics is Puh-Hissicks. So, of course, Pharmacy became Puh-Harmacy.

Sounds about right.

Mmmm! Hot Fudge Pudding Cake!

Hot Fudge Pudding Cake

1 c. unsifted all-purpose flour
2/3 c. sugar
¼ c. cocoa
2 tsp. baking powder
¼ tsp. salt

½ c. milk
¼ c. vegetable oil
1 tsp. vanilla

¾ c. packed brown sugar
¼ c . cocoa

1 ¾ c. hot water


Preheat oven to 350. Spray 9X9 square pan with Pam. Mix first 5 ingredients in bowl; add milk, vegetable oil and vanilla. Spread in pan. Combine brown sugar and cocoa, sprinkle this mixture over stuff in pan. Now pour hot water over the whole mess and lament the fact that you probably just ruined it, but…..YOU DIDN’T! Do not stir. Bake for 45 minutes. Serve hot, cut into squares inverted onto serving plates or dishes. Spoon sauce over each serving. Serve with whipped crème or vanilla ice cream. Yields 2 servings or 8-10 for more polite individuals.

A morning of kayaking

OH.MY.NOODness!!! Katy and I went kayaking this morning and now I wonder, "why did I EVER wait so long to try this?!"

Even though the instructor said that "this is not a race" I was still pretty excited that I was the first to arrive at the first destination. I was paddling as fast as I could at times, then realized that I may want to conserve some energy for the return trip. (I pictured a future me, too exhausted to lift my own paddle....weeping pathetically as someone else has to tow me back to shore.)

I woke up this morning, eyes wide with terror with one thought on my mind,"OHMYGODWHATABOUT ALLIGATORS?!" I am happy to report that I saw zero alligators in Lake Hefner today. It was just a beautiful morning to be out on the water.

We went with the wonderful folks at OKC Kayak.

I'm off to try to figure out how soon I can get my hands on my very own kayak. Lucky for me OKC Kayak has Demo Days where you can try a bunch of different kayaks out before you buy it!



If you have ever thought about trying out kayaking.....JUST DO IT!

Here is their website:
http://www.okckayak.com

Nice Nutella....nice, nice Nutella

While at the Commissary yesterday I spied what you now see before you. That's right: 53 ounces of Hazelnut and Cocoa-y goodness. Despite whining preschoolers........it turned out to be a good day after all!

Textbook Temptress

My friend Ann, bless her heart, is a Bad Influence. And yes, BAD INFLUENCE in caps. When I met her I had no idea how she would lead me down this dark path, and yet, here I find myself. (I should have known what was in store for me. The day I met her she was wearing a trench coat that was loaded down with teacher’s manuals.)

Even though we found Wheelock’s Latin for cheap at the Library Book sale she suggested that we use Cambridge instead.

I took the bait. She’s my pusher on the corner just offering me my first hit for free.

Last night found me bleary-eyed feverishly scribbling a tentative schedule for our victims students in which I could get them through not only Latin, but French next school year. As the hours ticked on and my spiral notebook groaned under the weight of my frantic scribblings I toiled on, absolutely intoxicated by what I knew was coming next…..


The curriculum shopping. I swoon before thee as I tell you that I shopped, I researched and I loaded down my shopping cart on Amazon until it damn near groaned under the weight of it’s travails.



I get nervous around her when she starts talking curriculum. It’s like I’m the alcoholic and she’s telling me about her favourite new wine.

I’m the bank robber wannabe and she’s telling me “put on this ski mask and hold this gun, we’re gonna just pop into the bank real quick”.

When she talks about curriculum (which is frequently! She's a total addict while me,...oh, I could stop at any time.) I try to act all disinterested, aloof. She's all "Biology this,....Logic that" while I am over there trying to appear casual sayin things like,"who, me? Oh, yeah, I never really got into that sorta thing. I mean, if other people wanna do it, that's fine, but.....not really interested."

She is my Textbook Temptress. And I love her.

I love her like a crackhead loves a crackpipe.

I love her like a fat kid loves cake.

She’s better than a Chocodile, but she costs me more money in the long run!

Chicken Pot Pie!

I was recently asked for this recipe, so I thought I'd post it here:

Chicken Pot Pie

1 chicken (you know, a whole one!)

4 carrots

6 small potatoes or 4 medium ones….or 2 large ones….or 1 huge one
use your best judgment on the spud thing

2 cans crème of chicken soup

1 can peas

Salt & pepper to taste

4 pie crusts

Bake chicken in roaster pan with butter and Herbs de Provence on top. (I don’t know where you get Herbs de Provence. I get it from My Friend Sharon’s house because her husband buys herbs in bulk and he is my supplier, so unless you know My Friend Sharon you may have to do some research for this part……or come over to my house and get some. You only need about 2 teaspoons.)

After the bird is MOSTLY cooked take it out of the oven, throw it into a big stockpot and cover with water. Boil until it’s falling apart. Remove the bird and shred the meat. Set aside.

Now, while the bird was boiling I HOPE you were peeling and dicing the carrots and potatoes (putting the potato pieces into cold water so they don’t turn all brown and evil on ya!). Strain the chicken water to make sure any weird stuff is outta there and throw the carrots in. After about a5-6 minutes add the potatoes. (carrots take longer, as you probably know!) When carrots and potatoes are done (fork ‘almost-tender’. ....you don’t want them done all the way as they will continue cooking once inside their cozy little pastry blanket)

Now it’s time to assemble your Chicken Pie. Lay one pie crust into the pie tin. (Yes, I use store-bought pie crusts. You can all just collectively tsktsk right now. Life is short. I buy pie crusts. We move on.) In a BIG BOWL put the chopped chicken and crème of chicken soup and stir. Now…..gently people, GENTLY fold in the drained carrots and potatoes. When they are fully incorporated you can GENTLY stir in the peas. A gentle hand is called for or you will create baby food here. You really don’t want to mash it all together, but gently and lovingly introduce the various ingredients to each other, as in a culinary meet n’ greet. Now, turn this mixture into the pie crusts. (I told you to put ONE pie crust into a pan, but we are making two, no? So, do it TWICE!)

Put the top crust on and pinch together. I tend to just sorta’ fold the top over the bottom as I go around. It makes for a nice Wallace & Grommit type crust, very homey looking, not Martha Stewart at all, but that’s how I roll, you must find your own way, grasshoppa’.

Oh, and for the love of all that is good in a pot pie,……PUT SOME SLITS IN THE TOP or the whole thing will blow up and try to explode in your oven.

…..ask me how I know?

Since this recipe makes two you can save the other one by freezing it or give it to a friend who just had a baby!

Bake at 400 for 30 minutes or so. I have a temperamental oven so I never know how long something is going to take. Keep an eye on it. You may need to cover it with foil during the last half.

Enjoy! I made ours yesterday with a blueberry pie. There is nothing quite like seeing my little man shoving my freshly baked blueberry pie into his mouth with great gusto and a huge smile! It warmed the cockles of my heart.....whatever the heck a 'cockle' is,....mine were warm yesterday!

Snow Day pics!

So, here at Chez Ohmynoodness we are experiencing snow, glorious snow!! We are on Day Two of jammies, popcorn and movies.


Our intrepid staff photographer is pictured above thanking one of her lovely models for posing. Isn't she sweet? Sweet AND talented!