I picked up a prescription for MYSELF recently. (in a minute you will understand why I had to yell “MYSELF”.)
On the bottle was a label that read, and I quote,
Give “Cyndi” one tablet each day
Now, this was different for two reasons. For one thing I have never been referred to in the third person on my very own prescription label and, for another thing, my name has never appeared on it in quotes like that. Only two possibilities exist here:
1) I am a persnickety feline who requires human involvement to take a pill, most likely by hiding it in a chunk of tuna or…
2) I am not real.
Last time I checked I was a 30-mumble year old woman who picks up her own prescriptions. I wonder if my long-suffering husband is supposed to rescue me from my perch atop the dining room drapery rod, gently stroke my back and shove the tuna covered pill down my gullet while singing Soft Kitty to me?
In other news Jake can’t believe that the PH combo in words sounds like the letter F so every word he sees with the mysterious PH combo is pronounced separately. Phillips is Puh-Hillups and Physics is Puh-Hissicks. So, of course, Pharmacy became Puh-Harmacy.
Sounds about right.