13 March 2010

Textbook Temptress

My friend Ann, bless her heart, is a Bad Influence. And yes, BAD INFLUENCE in caps. When I met her I had no idea how she would lead me down this dark path, and yet, here I find myself. (I should have known what was in store for me. The day I met her she was wearing a trench coat that was loaded down with teacher’s manuals.)

Even though we found Wheelock’s Latin for cheap at the Library Book sale she suggested that we use Cambridge instead.

I took the bait. She’s my pusher on the corner just offering me my first hit for free.

Last night found me bleary-eyed feverishly scribbling a tentative schedule for our victims students in which I could get them through not only Latin, but French next school year. As the hours ticked on and my spiral notebook groaned under the weight of my frantic scribblings I toiled on, absolutely intoxicated by what I knew was coming next…..

The curriculum shopping. I swoon before thee as I tell you that I shopped, I researched and I loaded down my shopping cart on Amazon until it damn near groaned under the weight of it’s travails.

I get nervous around her when she starts talking curriculum. It’s like I’m the alcoholic and she’s telling me about her favourite new wine.

I’m the bank robber wannabe and she’s telling me “put on this ski mask and hold this gun, we’re gonna just pop into the bank real quick”.

When she talks about curriculum (which is frequently! She's a total addict while me,...oh, I could stop at any time.) I try to act all disinterested, aloof. She's all "Biology this,....Logic that" while I am over there trying to appear casual sayin things like,"who, me? Oh, yeah, I never really got into that sorta thing. I mean, if other people wanna do it, that's fine, but.....not really interested."

She is my Textbook Temptress. And I love her.

I love her like a crackhead loves a crackpipe.

I love her like a fat kid loves cake.

She’s better than a Chocodile, but she costs me more money in the long run!