02 July 2009

Scooter: the E! True Hollywood Story

I keep wondering if maybe Scooter had issues.

This is coming as a last-born, attention loving baby of the family. I can’t help but wonder if Scooter hated that the other muppets got all the attention and accolades. Maybe Scooter, forever jealous of the attention given to his much cuter twin sister Skeeter, born into his polyester and fiberfill family at a time when his parents, worn out from caring for their other Muppet Children, were not as available to give Scooter the attention he so craved.

Perhaps Scooter became all too accustomed to allowing others to steal the spotlight that he truly deserved. Truth be told, Scooter was likely the least physically attractive of the bunch, although his genius and intellect cannot be ignored. We could assume, from the physical and intellectual attributes that are obvious on the show, that Scooter likely placed top in his class at Muppet High. I am thinking ‘member of the chess club’ and possibly a nearly silent member of the debate team, always allowing others to have the last word. He certainly kow-towed to Kermit’s incessant demands.

After years of drug abuse, most of which was hidden by the success of the muppet show, Scooter ends up in a back alley just off Hollywood and Vine, an embriodery needle sticking out of his arm, his felt all nappy and worn. What has become of this once-well-known member of the Muppet Show crew? Will Scooter agree to treatment at the Betty Felt Clinic for Severely Disturbed Puppets or will he continue down this dangerous path?
NOTE: The preceding rant is just a general 'wondering-ment' and is not intended as actual reporting. Don't sue me, I'm just speculating here!